I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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