yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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