Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
