Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
