do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
