i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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