Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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