Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
