You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
