margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
