i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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