I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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