So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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