well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
it's like iHOP with fire
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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