whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
