the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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