used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
