True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
