please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
