thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Pooping to opera.
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