I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
