All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
