I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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