Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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