dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
MIDGETS
????
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize