I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
