Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
MIDGETS
????
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
