it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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