Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
