Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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