I hope mine doesn't look like that
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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