i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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