I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
