a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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