You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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