We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
