Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
