I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
