Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
