i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
