ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
