I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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