What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize