Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
