Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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