i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
