omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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