my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
