I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Duck Duck Cougar?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
