Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
