i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
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The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
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lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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