my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize