Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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