your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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