Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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