miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
