1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
