Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
