p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
